Today is one of those days…

Today is one of those days. When I am struggling to not feel overwhelmed. After a busy weekend full of activities, we are all tired. But that doesn’t mean we get to slow down. Today we had school and work, then gymnastics and other appointments.

Sometimes I feel like I never leave my van. Drop this kid here, take that kid there. Take them to the store to get supplies due the latest project. Up and down the freeway.

I have a son who has ADHD. Being his mom can be exhausting. Today he to write an essay and he has literally spent 2 hours complaining why he has to do it and how its not going to help him in later in life.

Add to that the stress of being a single mom juggling the finances to pay for all these activities, clothes and the insane amount of food we go thru on a weekly basis.

Then last week an old bill pops up from almost 8 years ago when I was married. In my frustration my thought was “yeah just one more thing I was stuck dealing with after the marriage ended”.

It all sent me into a little pity party.

Oh poor Pam.

And the devil pounced “just when you thought you were getting ahead, nope you will always be struggling, you won’t ever be able to get ahead…you will never own a home, you will never be able to afford to take a nice vacation with your kids, how will you ever pay for college”

….but God

Although I’m still tired, my time in the van hasn’t changed, my son is still complaining about writing the essay, and I haven’t yet received a financial miracle. I am CHOOSING to give it all to God.

Lay it at His feet. It’s too much for me. But when I give it to God the overwhelming becomes achievable.

I may not know how all is going to work out…but God.

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭29:11‬ ‭NKJV‬‬


Hail Mary mother of God, blessed art thou among women, blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus.

How many times did many of us grow up saying that?

But take a minute, and think about the reality of Mary’s life.

She was a young woman living a Godly life doing “all the right things”.

And then God….

We all look at her life and think how blessed and “chosen” she was but think about it.

She was pregnant….by God….

What if someone came to you and said they were pregnant “by God”. I’m sure she was surrounded by gossip and doubt. But she chose to be obedient knowing is would put her character in question. That for the rest of her life people would whisper about her. But she knew her character, self worth and calling was in God not in people.

She knew her value was in who God called her to be. She could have said no and then lived a seemingly good life, but instead she chose the more difficult but obedient life.

And time was changed….we all now see her as one of holiest women in history.

But think about how although her life wasn’t easy, she walked unwavingly in her Godly purpose. I can’t think of anything more fulfilling.

Choosing To rest in Gods peace this Christmas

This past Sunday our pastor started our Christmas series by speaking on Gods peace.

Its a time of year so many of us dread because feel we can’t possibly give our family the Christmas they deserve.

Why does Christmas translate to stress for so many of us?

I think it goes back to what Christmas means to you.

Is it about trying to do all the things you did as a child? or maybe as a child you didn’t have traditions so you want to create them for your family. Is it about how many gifts you have to buy? Is it about doing what you think is expected of you even though everything inside you wants to just scream stop?

I would like to encourage you instead to choose Gods peace. Choose to go back to the real meaning of Christmas, our Saviors birth.

It’s not about the gifts or parties or endless activities. Not that any of those are bad if done within your capabilities, both physically and financially.

But choose what is important to your families physical and spiritual health. What will they remember when they look back? Lots of gifts but that you were always stressed? or maybe not so many gift/activities but a sense of Gods peace?

Take some time to think about Christmas pasts and what do you remember? What would you like to be different this year?

My village

I know we have all heard the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child”.

Well I have to say as a single mom, I need a really large village, especially since I don’t have any family near me.

I have to say God heard my cry. I am blessed with amazing girlfriends, coworkers, and people I do church ministry with. I am also blessed to have my ex mother in law still living with the kids and me. 

This week I am extremely grateful. One my kids was having some behavior issues due to his ADHD. His school has been so supportive. They are quickly stepping in to give him extra support. My girlfriend have rallied around me. My church family has covered me in prayer and 2 different pastors are meeting with him this week.

If you don’t have a village or even if you do but you still feel alone, I would encourage you to reach out, on those tough days when it seems you can’t do another thing. There are people who do genuinely care about you and your family.  The devil would love for us to think you are all alone and that no one cares about you or your kids. 

If you don’t have a church family, I would say find a church because the unconditional love, support and help they have given me has been what has carried us when we couldn’t do it alone. They have truly directed us all to look to God as our ultimate source and to not give up.


Do you take the time to look, I mean to really see the blessings you have in your life? 

As I am about to go to sleep I take one last look at my kids. I do this every night before I go to sleep, but as I did tonight, I felt God reminding me what a blessing they are. 

For over 12 years I have been a mother, but thi was after years of struggling with infertility. According to some doctors I shouldn’t even them. 

Tonight I am stopping before my head hits the pillow and I start another work/school week, to thank my ever faithful Father. 

The things that the devil tries to get us to give up on because they don’t happen in our time. For each of us it’s different for some it may be a dream job, another a spouse or even just financial freedom. Don’t give up! 

God hears your prayers and in His timing (which lets be honest is SO much better than ours) know your blessings are coming. 

In the meantime be thankful for the blessings you have today. 


We all have things that come to mind when we say summer.

For me there are certain smells. 

Chlorine….we get season passes to the local water park, and go to friends pools.

Fireworks….my church does this amazing patriotic event called Celebrate America and they do fireworks each night and then of course the 4th of July.

BBQ….the smoke from all the different meats and of course marshmallows…yumm

But I must say my favorite part of summer is the time I get to spend with my kids. My older kids start 7th grade this school year and I know very soon they won’t want to spend as much time as with me.

So I am choosing to make the most of the time we have right now. To bond stronger together as a family, and make memories. 

The fun of floating around the lazy river and chatting about everything and nothing. Roasting smores on the fire, laughing, talking, telling stories. Looking into the sky at the colorful explosions. Staying up late watching movies. 

Making memories…what a wonderful opportunity summer gives us. Before we head back to all the busyness of life. Make sure you take the time this summer. 

My body…a temple to the Holy Spirit…

Let me be honest I have have not been taking good care of my “temple”. 

I have a lot of things in my life on track and where I want them to be. But being brutally honest one thing I have struggled with most of my adult life is my weight. I have gained and lost. Done weight watchers, cabbage soup diet, and numerous other trendy diets along the way. 

But I have always slipped back into bad eating habits. This has caused me to really struggle with a poor self image. Especially when I was married and my ex husband said he didn’t want to take me out because he was embarrassed to be seen with me. A lot of the diet I did when I was married was to “show him”.  But since I wasn’t truly doing it with the right motives I would always fail.

Once he left the devil really messed with me telling me that no one would ever love me and all the cruel words my ex said to me about my weight echoed in my head. 

In the almost 6 years since he left I have continued to struggle with my weight. Today I started a new fitness/health regime. It’s not trendy or a diet. It’s just hard work and discipline. As I went for my assessment today I walked away exhausted, and left ashamed of how I have let myself go. 

As I move forward my motivation is that my body is a temple and that along with everything else in my life I am accountable to God for how I care for it. Also I have 4 beautiful children who I need to model healthy lifestyle to. 

I share my journey because I know many of us are on this same journey. I will we posting updates of how I am doing. 

I am doing this for 2 reasons: 1. It will keep me accountable 2. Maybe it will motivate others. 
1 Cor 6:19-20

19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

Exceedingly Abundantly…

My life has definitely had moments of exceedingly abundantly. 

When I struggled to get pregnant even to be told by one doctor that I would never have children. As I began fertility treatment where that doctor told us there was low percentage chance of it working at all. Then to get pregnant with triplets. Exceedingly abundantly. Then 2 years later another beautiful baby. Exceedingly abundantly.

Then there was that time that I was a broke single mom. I mean last roll of toilet paper broke. I hadn’t really told anyone but then in my mailbox is an envelope with $100. Exceedingly abundantly.

This past week I was doubly blessed. I had someone say that wanted to pay the balance of my all 4 of my kids church camp.  Once I began looking into what was owed, I found out a dear friend had already paid $800 of it! Exceedingly abundantly.

Life can sometimes be tough. As a single mom I have definitely struggled. But I always remember my “exceedingly abundantly” that have happened in my life.
“Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, unto him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus unto all generations for ever and ever. Amen.”

‭‭Eph 3:20-21

The shepherd 

Today as I was driving into work, I saw a beautiful picture of Gods heart for us.

This time of year there are sheep put into manny of the overgrown fields to eat down the grass. Once they have done the job in one area the shepherd collects them and takes them to the next spot where they are needed. 

The shepherd this morning had all the sheep herded up but there was that one sheep……who had lost its way and was stuck in the ravine. I saw him gently lift the sheep up out of the ravine and the sheep took off to join the herd. But there was the shepherd dirty and tired. But he would never think to just leave that sheep in a bad place. 

This is how God sees us. When we get ourselves into a bad place He always comes for us. The question is when He comes for us what is our response? Do we want to stay in our “ravine” or do we run to Him for the salvation we so desperately need? 

Life is all about choices….what will you choose today? 

I choose to keep my eyes on my ever faithful shepherd. 

Mother day for a single mom

Mother’s Day is this Sunday and can I be really honest? I’m not excited….as a single mom Mother’s Day is no different then any other Sunday. 

While I am genuinely happy to see most of my friends celebrated by their husbands, it’s just another reminder for me that I don’t have a husband. 

I have pulled double duty raising my kids for almost 6 years, and they are so sweet to make me homemade gift every year. But Mother’s Day is probably one of the days I feel lonliest. 

That being said I do absolutely trust that in Gods timing, He will bring the right man into my life. I just wish it was now. But I have to remind myself that Jer 29:11 doesn’t say “Pam knows the plans Pam has for Pam” and choose to be grateful for the blessings I have in my life right now. 

It’s a choice even when we feel alone we aren’t. God is always with us, these beautiful people He has given us to raise are with us. 

Choose gratefulness even when it’s hard…..