Blessings 

Do you take the time to look, I mean to really see the blessings you have in your life? 

As I am about to go to sleep I take one last look at my kids. I do this every night before I go to sleep, but as I did tonight, I felt God reminding me what a blessing they are. 

For over 12 years I have been a mother, but thi was after years of struggling with infertility. According to some doctors I shouldn’t even them. 

Tonight I am stopping before my head hits the pillow and I start another work/school week, to thank my ever faithful Father. 

The things that the devil tries to get us to give up on because they don’t happen in our time. For each of us it’s different for some it may be a dream job, another a spouse or even just financial freedom. Don’t give up! 

God hears your prayers and in His timing (which lets be honest is SO much better than ours) know your blessings are coming. 

In the meantime be thankful for the blessings you have today. 

Summer

We all have things that come to mind when we say summer.

For me there are certain smells. 

Chlorine….we get season passes to the local water park, and go to friends pools.

Fireworks….my church does this amazing patriotic event called Celebrate America and they do fireworks each night and then of course the 4th of July.

BBQ….the smoke from all the different meats and of course marshmallows…yumm

But I must say my favorite part of summer is the time I get to spend with my kids. My older kids start 7th grade this school year and I know very soon they won’t want to spend as much time as with me.

So I am choosing to make the most of the time we have right now. To bond stronger together as a family, and make memories. 

The fun of floating around the lazy river and chatting about everything and nothing. Roasting smores on the fire, laughing, talking, telling stories. Looking into the sky at the colorful explosions. Staying up late watching movies. 

Making memories…what a wonderful opportunity summer gives us. Before we head back to all the busyness of life. Make sure you take the time this summer. 

My body…a temple to the Holy Spirit…

Let me be honest I have have not been taking good care of my “temple”. 

I have a lot of things in my life on track and where I want them to be. But being brutally honest one thing I have struggled with most of my adult life is my weight. I have gained and lost. Done weight watchers, cabbage soup diet, and numerous other trendy diets along the way. 

But I have always slipped back into bad eating habits. This has caused me to really struggle with a poor self image. Especially when I was married and my ex husband said he didn’t want to take me out because he was embarrassed to be seen with me. A lot of the diet I did when I was married was to “show him”.  But since I wasn’t truly doing it with the right motives I would always fail.

Once he left the devil really messed with me telling me that no one would ever love me and all the cruel words my ex said to me about my weight echoed in my head. 

In the almost 6 years since he left I have continued to struggle with my weight. Today I started a new fitness/health regime. It’s not trendy or a diet. It’s just hard work and discipline. As I went for my assessment today I walked away exhausted, and left ashamed of how I have let myself go. 

As I move forward my motivation is that my body is a temple and that along with everything else in my life I am accountable to God for how I care for it. Also I have 4 beautiful children who I need to model healthy lifestyle to. 

I share my journey because I know many of us are on this same journey. I will we posting updates of how I am doing. 

I am doing this for 2 reasons: 1. It will keep me accountable 2. Maybe it will motivate others. 
1 Cor 6:19-20

19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

Exceedingly Abundantly…

My life has definitely had moments of exceedingly abundantly. 

When I struggled to get pregnant even to be told by one doctor that I would never have children. As I began fertility treatment where that doctor told us there was low percentage chance of it working at all. Then to get pregnant with triplets. Exceedingly abundantly. Then 2 years later another beautiful baby. Exceedingly abundantly.

Then there was that time that I was a broke single mom. I mean last roll of toilet paper broke. I hadn’t really told anyone but then in my mailbox is an envelope with $100. Exceedingly abundantly.

This past week I was doubly blessed. I had someone say that wanted to pay the balance of my all 4 of my kids church camp.  Once I began looking into what was owed, I found out a dear friend had already paid $800 of it! Exceedingly abundantly.

Life can sometimes be tough. As a single mom I have definitely struggled. But I always remember my “exceedingly abundantly” that have happened in my life.
“Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, unto him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus unto all generations for ever and ever. Amen.”

‭‭Eph 3:20-21

The shepherd 

Today as I was driving into work, I saw a beautiful picture of Gods heart for us.

This time of year there are sheep put into manny of the overgrown fields to eat down the grass. Once they have done the job in one area the shepherd collects them and takes them to the next spot where they are needed. 

The shepherd this morning had all the sheep herded up but there was that one sheep……who had lost its way and was stuck in the ravine. I saw him gently lift the sheep up out of the ravine and the sheep took off to join the herd. But there was the shepherd dirty and tired. But he would never think to just leave that sheep in a bad place. 

This is how God sees us. When we get ourselves into a bad place He always comes for us. The question is when He comes for us what is our response? Do we want to stay in our “ravine” or do we run to Him for the salvation we so desperately need? 

Life is all about choices….what will you choose today? 

I choose to keep my eyes on my ever faithful shepherd. 

Mother day for a single mom

Mother’s Day is this Sunday and can I be really honest? I’m not excited….as a single mom Mother’s Day is no different then any other Sunday. 

While I am genuinely happy to see most of my friends celebrated by their husbands, it’s just another reminder for me that I don’t have a husband. 

I have pulled double duty raising my kids for almost 6 years, and they are so sweet to make me homemade gift every year. But Mother’s Day is probably one of the days I feel lonliest. 

That being said I do absolutely trust that in Gods timing, He will bring the right man into my life. I just wish it was now. But I have to remind myself that Jer 29:11 doesn’t say “Pam knows the plans Pam has for Pam” and choose to be grateful for the blessings I have in my life right now. 

It’s a choice even when we feel alone we aren’t. God is always with us, these beautiful people He has given us to raise are with us. 

Choose gratefulness even when it’s hard…..

Tired…

I love my kids so incredibly much! I would literally give my life to keep them safe and healthy. 

But sometimes I get tired. Tired of doing everything on my own. Tired of arguing with them about the most basic daily tasks. Tired of the never ending bickering between them. Tired of the fact that their father chooses to see them less than 18 hours a week. Tired of every decision in their life falling on my shoulders. 

Please don’t confuse this with me not wanting to take care of my children. That is not the case. I’m just tired of doing it alone. I have and continue to trust God that in His timing, He will bring a spouse to support me in times like this. I just wish it was now not someday. 

But I also know that Jer. 29:11 says He know the plans He has for us….not that He will always let us know the next step. So even on tough days like today when my boys are bickering for the umptenth time and I literally just started bawling because I couldn’t take it anymore. I choose to trust that God has not forgotten me and my need to not be alone. 

Brokeness 

My morning started out visiting a friend who’s son died yesterday. She is feeling the pain a mother should never have to feel. She is broken. She told me “I can’t handle this, it’s too much, I’m strong but not this strong.” 

I told her I agreed. She looked at me kind of surprised when I said it. I told her this was too much. That this is the time when we have to make a choice to lean on our almighty Father God. That when we are too broken to go on, when we can’t begin to understand why, when we may even be struggling with anger towards God because what happened isn’t fair. 

That’s when the choice to trust, press in, put on the worship music, when you really just want to crawl in bed and cry, will make the difference. Reading His Word out loud to remind you and all the demons who are tormenting you, that in spite of the pain your heart and life belong to God. 

His healing will come you. His peace will come. 

We have all gone thru things that have left us broken it’s what we do in those moments that determine our destiny. 

Being a single mom 

I have been a single mom for over 5 years now. When my ex left us for another woman, I didn’t know how I was going to survive let alone thrive. Would my children grow up to meet at the statistics of so many other kids raised with out a dad in the home? Could I really do it alone? 

I will tell you 5 years later I am in fact thriving. Is it easy? No. It’s a choice. Daily. The last 5 years have been tough but the fact that I have chosen to place my trust in God has carried me through every storm I have faced.

I made the immediate choice to get plugged into a church that would support my family and I can honestly say  my church, Destiny Christian Church, has gone above and beyond. They have held my hand or hugged me when I felt overwhelmed. They have come around my children with a fierce protection. My children know if they need someone to talk to there is a list on people who would be happy to meet with them. This connection has honestly been one of the biggest ways I have been able to thrive. My church community. If you don’t have a church home I would encourage you to find one and get involved, get your kids plugged in. 

My relationship with God though, is what has carried me. Knowing I was not alone, that He was always there with me. That He loves me unconditionally, so I don’t have to do anything to earn it and I can’t do anything to lose it. When you confidence is shattered this is sustaining. Spending time daily in Gods presence, through prayer and studying His Word, has given me the strength to be the single mom that I am today. 

The Light

I was home sick from work today. I closed the blinds in my room because the light hurt my eyes. 

It made me think that when we are spiritually sick, away from the things of God, when we see His light, it can hurt. It can remind us who we used to be or convict us of things we are doing that we know we really shouldn’t be doing. 

But as we come back to “the Light” there is so much powerful healing. We can begin to live in freedom free from whatever had hold of us in the darkness. 

This great quote from Martin Luther King Jr. sums it up.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”