I love my kids so incredibly much! I would literally give my life to keep them safe and healthy.
But sometimes I get tired. Tired of doing everything on my own. Tired of arguing with them about the most basic daily tasks. Tired of the never ending bickering between them. Tired of the fact that their father chooses to see them less than 18 hours a week. Tired of every decision in their life falling on my shoulders.
Please don’t confuse this with me not wanting to take care of my children. That is not the case. I’m just tired of doing it alone. I have and continue to trust God that in His timing, He will bring a spouse to support me in times like this. I just wish it was now not someday.
But I also know that Jer. 29:11 says He know the plans He has for us….not that He will always let us know the next step. So even on tough days like today when my boys are bickering for the umptenth time and I literally just started bawling because I couldn’t take it anymore. I choose to trust that God has not forgotten me and my need to not be alone.